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SEATED AT
TABLE
If there is a place card at your seat, the card will
face you. The place card allows you to locate your
proper position and allows those sitting next to you
to see who you are. If a place card is too far away to
easily read, you are not expected to have dinner
conversation with that person. After making
acquaintance with those at your right and left, you
will allow them some time to glance at your place card
to fix your name in their minds. If someone is sitting
across from you, and if the dinner table is not too
wide to prevent casual conversation, unobtrusively
turn your place card around so that the opposite
persons can see it, then introduce yourself a short
time after. Some place cards have the name on both
sides, thus eliminating the need to turn the card.
When sitting at table, handshakes are not usually
given when introductions are made. However, if a hand
is offered, you should take it. You should introduce
yourself to your immediate tablemates if they are not
known to you. Do not ignore persons to your right or
left. If the table is not of a great size so that
conversation is convenient, you should speak to those
across from you. Do not leave your seat to introduce
yourself to others after you have seated yourself for
dinner, but, if the table seats eight or fewer, you
may walk around the table to introduce yourself to
those already seated before you seat yourself.
IF IN DOUBT
If you are in doubt
about matters of dining (which fork to use? which
spoon?), these topics are covered in etiquette books,
readily available at the local library, but an easy
solution is to quietly follow the lead of the head
person at your table who, even if wrong, has the
advantage of being at the head of the table!
CAUTION
Of course, loud speaking and laughter, back
slapping, and other boisterous forms of camaraderie
are in very bad form. Noise made with eating utensils
is also bad form (i.e., stir coffee and tea quietly;
do not bang tableware on the plate; and so on). Table
conversation, and conversations in general, are quiet
and may take any form, but usually politics and
religion are avoided if they might lead to upset. Do
not be drawn into such discussions should they somehow
develop. If asked directly a disputatious question, a
good response is: "It is an interesting question,
but I am not prepared this evening to offer an
opinion." Next, since you have been "given
the floor" by being asked a question, you should
immediately turn the conversation in another direction
by turning to someone to ask a question. An excellent
"conversation turner" is this: (turning to a
Knight, saying) "Many of us have been admiring
your Breast Star/Riband/medal; won't you tell us about
it?" Humor that is suggestive or ribald is, of
course, avoided.
FORMS OF
ADDRESS
Another matter that
makes some Knights nervous is the question of what
form of address to use. While titles must be used at
such events, yet their use should be approached calmly.
That anyone will be offended by an error in title
usage is highly unlikely. Everyone understands that
there will be many Knights, Nobility, and some Royalty
at the event, and everyone understands that their
attire will not provide a clue as to the rank. There
will be no "name tags." Therefore, errors in
forms of address, if they happen, will surprise no
one. A good approach is to listen when you are
introduced, for the introducer will definitely
identify the rank and title of the person to whom you
are being introduced. The form of the introduction is,
itself, a clue--lower ranks are introduced to higher.
If you are introduced first, the other person holds a
higher rank. Here are general guidelines:
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